The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

You know how people always say that if you really want something, you should "put it out in the universe" as if a big wheel of Gouda will automagically fall from the sky simply because you're craving grilled cheese? Personally, I think the universe likes to f*ck with those people. Unfortunately, ...

Robert Rubin - 9 Signs the Universe is F*cking with You

The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

Finding something made in America these days is about as rare as a Baptist minister sliding down a stripper pole in a gay bar. (Come to think of it, that may be more common than previously thought, but you get the point.) So, it was quite a pleasant surprise when I discovered this in my house the other ...

Robert Rubin - Holy Crap! Something Actually Made in the USA!

The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

This post is inspired by the popular "If You Give A..." children's book series by Laura Numeroff, which my kids love.  Consider this to be my tribute to her work, except for the parts that probably should never be read to young children, which is approximately 97% of it.   If you decide to ...

Robert Rubin - If You Decide to Start a Blog (A Not For Children Story)

The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

Tonight’s regularly scheduled post, “I Haven’t Changed My Underpants in 3 Days” will not be seen tonight so that I can make fun of the latest brouhaha surrounding same sex marriage instead. I live in North Carolina. On Tuesday we had a little election. Perhaps you heard about it. You know, ...

Robert Rubin - I Live in North Carolina and I’m Sort Of Not Ashamed to Admit It

The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

  Since I moved The Mainland to this deluxe web host in the sky, my overall numbers have gone up.  I now average around 350 views a day, and on a few occasions when I was able to slip my own posts past unsuspecting StumbleUpon users, I came oh so close to topping 1,000 in a single 24-hour ...

Robert Rubin - How May I Bribe You Today?

The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

Take a look at how extreme right-wing  policies destroy one woman over her lifetime—and how Republicans think that's pretty f'ing cool.   A new child is born.  Under President Obama, giving birth in a hospital would not be a financial burden on her parents thanks to health care reform.  Instead, ...

Robert Rubin - The Life of Julie-Mae (aka the anti-Julia)

The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

Friends, this is going to come as quite a shock, but I have nothing to say.    It's true.  I keep staring into space like I’m on some sort of weird acid trip (not that I would know what that feels like) hoping that a hysterically brilliant idea magically envelopes whatever part of the ...

Robert Rubin - I Have Nothing To Say

The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

We're rolling out a  new feature here at The Mainland called "Nursery Rhymes Updated for 2012".  We'll take some of the most treasured stories ever written, and make them over slightly to reflect today's modern world. Today's feature is our updated version of  There was an Old Woman Who Lived in ...

Robert Rubin - Nursery Rhymes Updated For 2012

The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

You know you have a successful blog when advertisers come beating down your door with weird, free shit they want you to promote.  And if it's a really hot blog, you might even have people offering to buy it from you. Ladies and gentlemen, this is not one of those blogs.   Unfortunately, nobody ...

Robert Rubin - This Blog Can Be Yours…If The Price is Right! (or for a bucket of chicken)

The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor

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Robert Rubin - Some Things Never Change