Americans Horrified McDonald’s Egg McMuffins Made With Real Eggs

CHICAGO – McDonald’s announced today that it was dropping it’s egg supplier, Sparboe Egg Farms, after an undercover video depicting animal cruelty at the company surfaced.  Reaction around the country was of shock and disbelief that McDonald’s would actually allow real eggs to be used in their sandwiches.

Michael Carver, a 57-year-old web developer from Chicago, says he’s been eating Egg McMuffins all his life and it wasn’t until this incident that he realized the word “egg” in the name actually referred to real eggs.

“Wow,” Carver said.  ”I’m shocked.  All this time I thought that awesome taste came from some kind of secret military experiment in the ’60s.  Turns out it’s just eggs and a whole lot of margarine.  Bummer.”

Jessie Harper, a teacher’s aide from Cleveland, shared similar thoughts.  When asked if she would continue to eat Egg McMuffins once McDonald’s changes egg providers, Harper seemed doubtful.  ”I just have a hard time knowing there is something real in there even if it is covered in preservatives and other nasty stuff,” she said.

McDonald’s plans to continue using real eggs in their Egg McMuffins and other sandwiches despite the harsh public reaction.  According to a source who spoke on condition of anonymity, the fast food giant did test a completely fake Egg McMuffin on terminal cancer patients in the early 1970′s, but the program had to be shut down when participants started to grow feathers.

“Fake egg technology has certainly improved since the 1970′s, ” the source said.  ”But, we just can’t take the chance of someone turning into an ostrich or something.  I mean, we have standards.”